Earth Mother Moon Journal, Issue Number 4
The Mother's Moon: Full Moon July 10, 11:03 pm EDT, in Capricorn
July Moon Musings with Calesta- Stepping in to the Unknowing.
This month has been a deep release into the changes that took place last month. As I'm still in the moon of the mother, I'm stepping into my role, my life, myself/Self with new understandings and acceptance.
As I alluded to in the last journal, I personally have found that I was reacting in some aspects of my life out of fear, and avoiding doing some of the work/aspects of life that I truly that I love. My life in some ways is very different since going through this astrological and emotional experience- but externally, it's really the same, I'm still a stay at home mother with 2 children, who reads, gardens, does crafts and works on her spiritual growth. Internally, it's the actual acceptance and enjoyment at it that has changed on some fundamental level. I think because I felt 'not enough' of a mother if I didn't also have a 'thriving career' to go along with it by the time they were in school, then what sort of 'success' was I in societies eyes? What sort of success was I in my own eyes? How do I feel about raising children to the best of my ability as my main work? Lots of deep questions I had to face in the last moon.
This month, as I've come in to my own more, another aspect has surfaced. One day I asked my spiritual teacher, why did she think my daughter died on February 1st, Bridget's feast of all days, and my grandmother dying on that date a year later... two weeks before my due date, the day my grandfather died... and then after my grandmother passed, nine months later I gave birth to a little girl on the same day she gave birth to her first live girl as well, on October 10. What is this connection (I've looked at this at many angles for years now)... I think I asked her because I was just searching for an answer, because my old answers were' working now... She said she did not know. For a few days I sat with this unknowing... uncomfortable as that is.
Then one morning the unknowing really struck me. I do not know. This is what I have had to come in to in my mothering practice. This life that I currently live, is honestly, the dream I had for myself five, six years ago. But when I lost my daughter... well, I felt it HAD to happen for a reason. It must have, right? A reason I could concretely understand. Like, I was a bad mother. Ok, that's a shame response... how about... I will be a better mother later? Be a better example of what it means to be a woman (yes, that feminist in me coming out:) to my children later? But now- well, if I am to let go, enjoy and truly just be the woman I am- well, what does that mean... well, that it didn't happen for that reason. It means... that the reasons (of which I have many, like she chose me to birth her to a next level spiritually, it was a process she needed, I have all kinds of interesting theories on it spiritually, some better than others, some more healing, some more guilt inducing, as is the nature of my psyche!)... it means the reasons I have been trying to make real, make it all make sense... well, they don't hold water. Oh shit. It means... I release into NOT KNOWING. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There is no freaking answer that I'm aware of anyway. This can be a good thing (allowing greater mysteries to exist, as I am not the be all end all of the world:)- but it's truly a challenge for my brain to step into unknowing.
But when I do step into it.... I can live my life in a free-er sense when I don't know the reasons for it all. I can follow my heart a little bit more. I can love a little bit deeper. I can relax into a life that I enjoy, even if it doesn't all add up. ahhhh... there is a peace with unknowing, a gift with the challenge.
What a lesson. So here are the questions I pose to you this month.... What is it that you try to justify and make sense of? What do you not understand but need to just let go of... into this deep unknowing? Is it the future? Are you trying to control what will happen next? Or is there a piece of your past you are still dealing with, hanging on to, trying to desperately make sense of and find answers for? What if you just let go of it all... and took THIS VERY MOMENT to enjoy what you have now? Not worrying what that means about for the past or future?
Breathe in to the unknowing this month... take a moment to pause and reflect. Close your eyes right now and breath into this moment, not worrying about yesterdays mistakes or tomorrows fortunes... What do you love this second?
Have a great full moon time, and enjoy the rest of the journal,
Namaste:)
Calesta Ana
A Healing Process for the Mother's Moon:
This is from Hinshaw's, Earth Time, Moon Time
Imagine that you have an hour to pack up yourself and your family in a car, and that whatever you leave behind will be destroyed by fire or flood. Do not allow yourself to be disturbed by this thought. The purpose of this exercise is to help you recognize what is most essential to you and yours and how much of your personal well-being rests on a material base.
We have many layers of need. When survival is the issue, we can strip almost all of the layers away and find our most central needs and values. What re you going to take with you- food, clothing, tools, cooking untensils, bedding, medicines, jewelry, toys, records, treasured books or art, vcr, computer? Begin by deciding that you and your family will survive and that no matter how tough it gets you'll find a way to make it through.
Clothes, bedding, nonperishable foods and containers of water are obvious, along with neccesary medication and basic utensils. But what about pictures, records, teddy bears, favorite books. Think about your emotional as well as physical survival. think about what you will tell your children or spouse later to help them survive and recover, how you can explain this is impersonal, and not a disaster being an expression of their personal worth. Make sure you understand the truth of what you say.
After you have completed your list walk through your home in your mind and celebrate all the objects and qualities that sustain you and your family. Recognize the bounty in your life. Discover how an old chair that fits your body comforts you. Acknowledge that an ugly lamp annoys you every time you see it. Consider how the cleanliness, neatness and condition of each object around you affects your sense of comfort and well being. count your blessings and take joy in what you have.
I'll say that one again...Oh I love the mother's moon... count your blessings, and take joy in what you have:)
The Moon In Capricorn:
The energies of the full moon are in capricorn. For me at the full moon, I notice the effects of more energy, needing less sleep. Pay attention to what you experience at this full moon, how it affects you personally. When the moon is in the sign of capricorn, from sunday night through tuesday later in the day, you may also want to note how that feels.
Here's a little about the Moon in Capricorn- from Cainer's Complete Book of the Zodiac: "Capricorns are the keepers of the cosmic clock. The Capricorn quest is to treasure the history and measure the mystery of the passing hours. A Capricorn, however, doesn't so much seek to take time as to give it. To create opportunity for others by helping them to make more of life's most precious, yet limited, resource is every Capricorn's noble wish. If you need to get something done, contact a Capricorn. These down to earth people tackle every task one step at a time and rarely let anything or anyone intimidate them. Even when they're under extreme pressure, you'll rarely see a Capricorn crumble."
Mercury Retrograde:
Note that mercury goes retrograde on July 4, through July 28. Communication can go slowly at this time- please give yourself extra time, dot those i's and cross those t's! And remember a bit of patience... and the practice of what's important... when you find yourself getting upset, think for a moment, will this matter a year from now? Likely it will not, and that bit of added perspective will calm you. Or, you can take a time out:)
Herb of The Month: Lavender
I chose lavender this month as I picked a great deal of flowers in the last couple of weeks that are hanging to dry. It is probably one of the most pleasant scents, rub the leaves a touch with your hands and inhale. Both of my children love to smell lavender. Here is a bit of information about it from Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs:
Lavender
Folk Names: Elf Leaf, Nard, Nardus, Spike.
Gender: Masculine
Planet: Mercury
Element: Air
Powers: Love, Protection, Sleep, Chastity, Longevity, Purification, Happiness, Peace.
Magical Uses: Lavender has long been used in love spells and sachets. Clothing nabbed with the fragrant flowers (or lavender placed in drawers with clothes) attracts love. A piece of paper on which you've rubbed lavender is excellent for writing love notes. the scent of lavender particularly attracts men, and lavender water or essential oil was worn by prostitutes several centuries ago to advertise and attract (who knew!!). Lavender also protects against cruel treatment at the hands of a spouse if worn.
These flowers are also burned or smouldered to induce sleep and rest, and are scattered about the home to maintain its peacefullness. The plant is so powerful that, if when depressed one gazes upon the plant, all sorrow will depart and a joyous feeling will settle upon the observer. Indeed, the odor of lavender is conducive to long life, and so should be smelled as often as possible if this is a concern.
Lavender is also used in healing mixtures, carried to see ghosts, and worn to protect against the evil eye. It is added to purification baths. Despite lavenders love associations, in the Renaissance it was believed that lavender together with rosemary, if worn, would preserve a woman's chastity (I think it might take a bit more than that:)...
A wish divination: Place lavender under your pillow while thinking of your wish. Do this just prior to retiring for the night. In the morning, if you have dreamt of anything relating to your wish, it will come true. However if you did not have dreams or they were unconnected with your wish, it will not manifest.
Lavendin is a type of lavender that was bred for its powerful scent. it is a particularly good choice for sachets and pillows.
New to the Site this Month:
There are a few changes going on on the website. I'm slowly getting it together to reflect some of the changes happening internally and moving them to the external. I have added a family and mothering section, and removed the Inspiration page (because most of that was added into the mothering section in various ways). Please check it out- there's a lot of great links and information! I'm also working on a family section - by popular demand more pictures of the kids are around for those of you further away!
I wish you the best during this Moon Time:)
Feel free to email me using the contact form.
<< Previous Moon Journal Entry
Next Moon Journal Entry >>
As I alluded to in the last journal, I personally have found that I was reacting in some aspects of my life out of fear, and avoiding doing some of the work/aspects of life that I truly that I love. My life in some ways is very different since going through this astrological and emotional experience- but externally, it's really the same, I'm still a stay at home mother with 2 children, who reads, gardens, does crafts and works on her spiritual growth. Internally, it's the actual acceptance and enjoyment at it that has changed on some fundamental level. I think because I felt 'not enough' of a mother if I didn't also have a 'thriving career' to go along with it by the time they were in school, then what sort of 'success' was I in societies eyes? What sort of success was I in my own eyes? How do I feel about raising children to the best of my ability as my main work? Lots of deep questions I had to face in the last moon.
This month, as I've come in to my own more, another aspect has surfaced. One day I asked my spiritual teacher, why did she think my daughter died on February 1st, Bridget's feast of all days, and my grandmother dying on that date a year later... two weeks before my due date, the day my grandfather died... and then after my grandmother passed, nine months later I gave birth to a little girl on the same day she gave birth to her first live girl as well, on October 10. What is this connection (I've looked at this at many angles for years now)... I think I asked her because I was just searching for an answer, because my old answers were' working now... She said she did not know. For a few days I sat with this unknowing... uncomfortable as that is.
Then one morning the unknowing really struck me. I do not know. This is what I have had to come in to in my mothering practice. This life that I currently live, is honestly, the dream I had for myself five, six years ago. But when I lost my daughter... well, I felt it HAD to happen for a reason. It must have, right? A reason I could concretely understand. Like, I was a bad mother. Ok, that's a shame response... how about... I will be a better mother later? Be a better example of what it means to be a woman (yes, that feminist in me coming out:) to my children later? But now- well, if I am to let go, enjoy and truly just be the woman I am- well, what does that mean... well, that it didn't happen for that reason. It means... that the reasons (of which I have many, like she chose me to birth her to a next level spiritually, it was a process she needed, I have all kinds of interesting theories on it spiritually, some better than others, some more healing, some more guilt inducing, as is the nature of my psyche!)... it means the reasons I have been trying to make real, make it all make sense... well, they don't hold water. Oh shit. It means... I release into NOT KNOWING. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. There is no freaking answer that I'm aware of anyway. This can be a good thing (allowing greater mysteries to exist, as I am not the be all end all of the world:)- but it's truly a challenge for my brain to step into unknowing.
But when I do step into it.... I can live my life in a free-er sense when I don't know the reasons for it all. I can follow my heart a little bit more. I can love a little bit deeper. I can relax into a life that I enjoy, even if it doesn't all add up. ahhhh... there is a peace with unknowing, a gift with the challenge.
What a lesson. So here are the questions I pose to you this month.... What is it that you try to justify and make sense of? What do you not understand but need to just let go of... into this deep unknowing? Is it the future? Are you trying to control what will happen next? Or is there a piece of your past you are still dealing with, hanging on to, trying to desperately make sense of and find answers for? What if you just let go of it all... and took THIS VERY MOMENT to enjoy what you have now? Not worrying what that means about for the past or future?
Breathe in to the unknowing this month... take a moment to pause and reflect. Close your eyes right now and breath into this moment, not worrying about yesterdays mistakes or tomorrows fortunes... What do you love this second?
Have a great full moon time, and enjoy the rest of the journal,
Namaste:)
Calesta Ana
A Healing Process for the Mother's Moon:
This is from Hinshaw's, Earth Time, Moon Time
Imagine that you have an hour to pack up yourself and your family in a car, and that whatever you leave behind will be destroyed by fire or flood. Do not allow yourself to be disturbed by this thought. The purpose of this exercise is to help you recognize what is most essential to you and yours and how much of your personal well-being rests on a material base.
We have many layers of need. When survival is the issue, we can strip almost all of the layers away and find our most central needs and values. What re you going to take with you- food, clothing, tools, cooking untensils, bedding, medicines, jewelry, toys, records, treasured books or art, vcr, computer? Begin by deciding that you and your family will survive and that no matter how tough it gets you'll find a way to make it through.
Clothes, bedding, nonperishable foods and containers of water are obvious, along with neccesary medication and basic utensils. But what about pictures, records, teddy bears, favorite books. Think about your emotional as well as physical survival. think about what you will tell your children or spouse later to help them survive and recover, how you can explain this is impersonal, and not a disaster being an expression of their personal worth. Make sure you understand the truth of what you say.
After you have completed your list walk through your home in your mind and celebrate all the objects and qualities that sustain you and your family. Recognize the bounty in your life. Discover how an old chair that fits your body comforts you. Acknowledge that an ugly lamp annoys you every time you see it. Consider how the cleanliness, neatness and condition of each object around you affects your sense of comfort and well being. count your blessings and take joy in what you have.
I'll say that one again...Oh I love the mother's moon... count your blessings, and take joy in what you have:)
The Moon In Capricorn:
The energies of the full moon are in capricorn. For me at the full moon, I notice the effects of more energy, needing less sleep. Pay attention to what you experience at this full moon, how it affects you personally. When the moon is in the sign of capricorn, from sunday night through tuesday later in the day, you may also want to note how that feels.
Here's a little about the Moon in Capricorn- from Cainer's Complete Book of the Zodiac: "Capricorns are the keepers of the cosmic clock. The Capricorn quest is to treasure the history and measure the mystery of the passing hours. A Capricorn, however, doesn't so much seek to take time as to give it. To create opportunity for others by helping them to make more of life's most precious, yet limited, resource is every Capricorn's noble wish. If you need to get something done, contact a Capricorn. These down to earth people tackle every task one step at a time and rarely let anything or anyone intimidate them. Even when they're under extreme pressure, you'll rarely see a Capricorn crumble."
Mercury Retrograde:
Note that mercury goes retrograde on July 4, through July 28. Communication can go slowly at this time- please give yourself extra time, dot those i's and cross those t's! And remember a bit of patience... and the practice of what's important... when you find yourself getting upset, think for a moment, will this matter a year from now? Likely it will not, and that bit of added perspective will calm you. Or, you can take a time out:)
Herb of The Month: Lavender
I chose lavender this month as I picked a great deal of flowers in the last couple of weeks that are hanging to dry. It is probably one of the most pleasant scents, rub the leaves a touch with your hands and inhale. Both of my children love to smell lavender. Here is a bit of information about it from Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs:
Lavender
Folk Names: Elf Leaf, Nard, Nardus, Spike.
Gender: Masculine
Planet: Mercury
Element: Air
Powers: Love, Protection, Sleep, Chastity, Longevity, Purification, Happiness, Peace.
Magical Uses: Lavender has long been used in love spells and sachets. Clothing nabbed with the fragrant flowers (or lavender placed in drawers with clothes) attracts love. A piece of paper on which you've rubbed lavender is excellent for writing love notes. the scent of lavender particularly attracts men, and lavender water or essential oil was worn by prostitutes several centuries ago to advertise and attract (who knew!!). Lavender also protects against cruel treatment at the hands of a spouse if worn.
These flowers are also burned or smouldered to induce sleep and rest, and are scattered about the home to maintain its peacefullness. The plant is so powerful that, if when depressed one gazes upon the plant, all sorrow will depart and a joyous feeling will settle upon the observer. Indeed, the odor of lavender is conducive to long life, and so should be smelled as often as possible if this is a concern.
Lavender is also used in healing mixtures, carried to see ghosts, and worn to protect against the evil eye. It is added to purification baths. Despite lavenders love associations, in the Renaissance it was believed that lavender together with rosemary, if worn, would preserve a woman's chastity (I think it might take a bit more than that:)...
A wish divination: Place lavender under your pillow while thinking of your wish. Do this just prior to retiring for the night. In the morning, if you have dreamt of anything relating to your wish, it will come true. However if you did not have dreams or they were unconnected with your wish, it will not manifest.
Lavendin is a type of lavender that was bred for its powerful scent. it is a particularly good choice for sachets and pillows.
New to the Site this Month:
There are a few changes going on on the website. I'm slowly getting it together to reflect some of the changes happening internally and moving them to the external. I have added a family and mothering section, and removed the Inspiration page (because most of that was added into the mothering section in various ways). Please check it out- there's a lot of great links and information! I'm also working on a family section - by popular demand more pictures of the kids are around for those of you further away!
I wish you the best during this Moon Time:)
Feel free to email me using the contact form.
<< Previous Moon Journal Entry
Next Moon Journal Entry >>